Signs of Global Warming

Today about three feet of snow has come down on our town. This is a sure sign of global warming. The wind has even blown snowdrifts up to six feet. Beware of the signs! The end is near! We're all gonna die!!!





(not really)

Why music sales are falling.

The music industry blames their falling sales on piracy, but in reality, the cause of this is economics. People do not want music for $1 a track. Most people want it free, and the people who are willing to pay for it aren't willing to pay nowhere near $1.00 a track. This is why the people who download music illegally do so, that particular supply is within the range they are willing to pay. In the end there will always be people who aren't willing to pay money, and in all likelihood the supply for those will also be there. But for those who might be willing to pay $0.10 per track are currently using the free supply. If the tracks offered were more desirable the demand curve would intersect at something better than $0.10. The best action for the music industry would be to sell at the optimum price of $0.10, or produce a more desirable product to increase demand, though I doubt the optimum price would be above or near $1.

Here is an illustration in case you need to see it.

*the author is by no means an economist and some of the preceding may be inaccurate but the general idea is the same, reduce music prices and have better music if you want good sales

French Moment/Semi French Moment

French Moment- When one walks into a bathroom of the incorrect gender
Semi-French Moment-When one walks into a bathroom of the incorrect gender by accident.

Global Warming, Liberal BS

Scientists are always talking about how we're all going to die and for the past two decades global warming has been first and foremost amongst the prophecies of the scientific community. Of course this hasn't been the only prophecy hailed by the liberal elite. In the 70's they said we were heading for the ice age and hunger would be the norm for the powers of the world, obviously that was wrong, here we are, the fattest nation in the world. Another doomsday theory involved locust-like swarms of killer bees flooding major cities yet it is clear as day when I look out the window. (OK, I lied, it is, in fact, night, but quite clear and killer bee free) Every other year the medical community goes up in arms about an imaginary flu pandemic that will kill a higher percent of our population than the black plague, yet just a few weeks ago the US has hit yet another population milestone. Close to the hearts of geeks everywhere is the Y2K bug, within five years of Y2K there were stories of grocery stores being empty, every computer in ever home and office would shut down, nuclear plants would succumb to meltdown, and a malfunction of weapons systems around the world would shower the planet with ballistic missiles. In reality, 5% of the world's computers were effected by the bug, and those computers remained quite operational though their system clocks were rolled back to 1900. We may never find absolute proof that global warming does not exist, but common sense, the same sense that tells you the sky is blue, and plants die when they're not watered, can give us the answer: It is incredibly arrogant to think that the pissant all of humanity can effect the climate of an entire planet.

Asian

Asian-
k.) people or objects from or in Asia
a.k.) people who are from China, Japan, Korea, Taiwan, Vietnam, etc. In other words: Oriental

Diversity

Diversity-
k.) the presence of a great variety of ideas, objects, people, etc.
a.k.) an abundance of people who are black, mexican, oriental, arab, lesbian, gay, transgendered, athiest, or otherwise in some liberal protected class

The Vagina Monologues

This is one of the most grotesque performances that occurs on college campuses. An entire performance centered on female genitalia. The whole idea is to speak out against violence against women. That's a noble cause, but the execution is wrong and it does nothing to actually stop violence against women. It's a presentation that only feminists are going to go to, most of the general public will never see it.

If you are on a true crusade to stop violence against women here are a few ideas go get you going:

• If, for any reason, think a woman may be in danger, check it out, don't ignore it and assume it's nothing. You may have the opportunity to save somebody from a terrible attack
• Don't go out alone, bring friends with you that you know will keep you safe. If you find somebody out alone, stay with them as much as you can, it could be just what is needed to deter a rapist
• If you hear violent arguments from an adjacent residence don't be afraid to confront it, and don't let excuses get in the way to stopping it for good, including your own, and those of the victim
• Parents: Teach your daughters to defend themselves. Make sure they learn how to use firearms, and learn some basic defense techniques.
  
• Husbands: If you know you are violent when you drink don't do it. If you have a bad temper work on it. Your wife isn't a punching bag, she is a person and deserves to be treated as such.
• Women: Learn to be more assertive. One of the reasons violence against women is so insidious is that you don't fight it.

That is by no means the end of the list, there are many other things that everyone can do to end this sort of thing.

Another problem with the Vagina Monologues is that people aren't likely to take it seriously. Take for example this excercept from an interview with the author:

I was drawn to vaginas because of my own personal history, because of sexuality, because women's empowerment is deeply connected to their sexuality. And, I'm obsessed with women being violated and raped, and with incest. All of these things are deeply connected to our vaginas.

Notice that middle sentence in particular. The author says she is obsessed with all these horrible things and she ties them all to her genitalia. She is centered on the problem, but never thinks about any solutions.

Many of you would ask why I am against this. My answer is simple: It doesn't help, and it's grotesqueness is harmful. We don't really need this sort of thing. The time and the money could be spent much more productively. Overall this thing on college campuses does far more harm than good; that is, if it does any good at all.

Bumper Stickers

Ahh... bumper stickers. I have always believed that the more words that are required to say it, the more likely it is bullshit. So judging by this belief I imagine you would think me as a fan of bumper stickers.

Here are some of my recent favourites:

Liberalism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, can help themselves

Liberal: somebody who is so open minded their brains have fallen out

Islam is a religion of pieces

There's room for all God's creatures, right between the veggies and the baked potato

Islam is a blast

I had a baby

Hey kids! Help preven child abuse... obey your parents!

Man+Woman=Marriage

Liberalism is a no brainer

Bigot: A conservative winning an argument with a Liberal

I'm not close-minded Liberals are just wrong

IF GUNS KILL PEOPLE SPOONS MAKE MICHAEL MOORE FAT

Soap... French Kryptonite

Guns... The original point and click device.

Gun control ...is a tight, five point shot group.

Kerry & Edwards
When you're as full of crap as these guys you need two Johns.